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It’s been a long day.

Writing escapes me nowadays so easily that I can’t even chronicle my writers block. In the grand and illusory scheme of growing up, I seem to have foregone that which was my most precious trait.

To mould letters into words and convey thoughts too complex that perhaps even I didn’t fully understand them. But that was what I loved about my writing. It was never about cohesive, comprehensive or even complete thoughts, it was an expression of a feeling. 

I can never remember the context in which I took to writing my pieces. But I can remember how I felt when I wrote them. I can feel the hopelessness in my more anxious posts, the zeal when I felt poised at the brink of a special moment in life, the joy of absolutely nothing but dulled senses under a starry sky and the rustling of a cold wind.

Nowadays, I have a mind of metal and order. My decisions, predetermined inside a bubble of free will. The body wearing and tearing, I can feel it in the exhaustion from each day’s toll. The toll of keeping myself caged in my head for the sake of a socially acceptable mirage I strive relentlessly but unwillingly for.

Perhaps, one day I’ll breathe free and let myself go, throw caution to the wind and once again, with dulled senses, smile under a black starry sky. 

For now the winter winds reach me, and the goosebumps take me back, for mere glorious seconds at a time. 

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Going Nuts

I wanted to write a post on 30 rock. I went on and on about every sit-com through the 80s, 90s and the 00’s..but not once did I mention 30 rock. I haven’t written anything decent in ages and whatever that seems mind blowingly awesome in my head is just utter crap as the words fall onto my keyboard, in this case blackberry. This is me, with only my wit and my sentence formations that have had me going all these years. Now, I feel lost. I can’t so much as coin a single phrase of any meaningful relevance with the topic I’m intending to write about. And if I do get the topic right, then the resulting mess is just a detailed rambling that makes horseshit sense.

Posted in coding


It seems to be extremely easy to learn Java from youtube. Yes, though any learning I need should be done by this month because of the internet-less apartment I’m moving into next month.
Java is much like C++, except for the somewhat huge amount of nonsensical syntax. Probably, something tht’s a part of the big picture that I’ll understand at some later point. Though the class format of the language is a bit unnerving, I’m slowly beginning to see how much better it is as compared to the void main intensive C coding. No hassles of passing arguments around.
Hmm..well, for now I guess I have to get on with the java for-loops and while loops

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Insy Winsy Spider

The human population on this planet borders around 6 billion. A hundred and six million hits on a youtube video ticks it off as a worldwide phenomenon. Nt a single bird was consulted. I’m pretty sure tiesta’s an alien war cry and bieber’s the US Govt secret super soldier program. Day by day we fall into this web we’ve created for ourselves. Allowing our finest spun web fortify the already presumptuous and self-centred net we call the internet. Our thoughts aren’t developing. We’re tweeting as it happens to us, sacrificing the thoughts and the processes tht may have led to something greater for a fleeting moment of publicity. Eventually trends happen. And before you know it, you’re just another soul in a crowd. This mob has around a billion people in it. And a billion people thinking exactly the same thing is, was and never will be good news. And when this digital civilisation crashes this will be the worst apocalypse yet.

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This is USS Enterprise to second base

What in fact is this coveted second base? A landmark in the growing up of a guy. Some handle it just fine. Others believe themselves to have made a indiana jonesque discovery. I mean seriously, u sucked on similar organs as a kid, why the fuss now? Yes, very sensual chapters these are in the sexual awakening of dudes. But really? Is it worth the hype and the effort? Anyone who’s been to a concert’s gotten to second base. Why then are mindless horny hordes of guys giving it their best? I can understand d forbidden fruit to have such importance, but second base really cannot be pegged as ‘must boast to random people’. Perhaps it’s the shimmer in a tunnel. Hope that maybe, just maybe there’s light in the darkness. After all, lil light and a lil more light stands to vanquish darkness in almost the same way. And the darkness inside a twenty someone who’s been on a dry spell ever since he sucked on his own thumb is inexplicably huge. And whether perhaps from there whether he gets laid, or just brushes something against something else, the reaction u probably get would be exactly the same. After all, the world for an adoloscent out to get some is a cruel dark place full of taboo and rules and excess inner clothing for women. Hmm. Funny.

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literally, open minded?

Some people have taken open mindedness into a whole new vista of complete ignorance. Open minded people tolerate your little idiosyncrasies. These other folk are dimwits at best and do not give a rat’s ass about what you may have been upto and why. They simply know that you’re doing something and at this singularity in space and time, you could be upto any crap you want. And to have to end up takin opinions and orders from people like these is a serious lesson in chapter “sensitivity and its ass-whooping” yes. If not for all the subtlety in the world, I would lay his mind open. Indeed. And feast on his brains.